n. Cornerstone (cor·ner·stone)
1. an important quality or feature on which a particular thing depends or is based on.
Do you know what the cornerstone of our society is? Trick question: the answer’s in the question. It’s corners! Forget currency, welfare benefits and ice-cream: if there’s anything that keeps this country going, it’s corners.
Why this fuss about corners all of a sudden? you may be wondering to yourself. OH, I’ll tell you when. When we started to let our corners down! They hold our buildings together and don’t crush us, even when we’ve ignored that spiderweb that’s been there for a good few weeks. They outnumber every round-a-bout in the country but never take over the world despite their sheer numbers. They’re in every room and hear our every word yet don’t slag us off when we chat shit. Has anyone had your back like that? Anyone? (Rhetorical.)
Now, I’m not one to beat around the metaphorical bushes (but I’d I definitely beat one up if I heard it bitchin’ about corners). I feel it’s important to give the well-deserved attention to the corners in my life. These corners have inspired me to be the best me, to put my best foot forward and let myself grow into a better human. Without these corners, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
1. Müller Corner
If angels were chefs/dairy pros/business-people who came down to the earth for a while and held a food product design and yoghurt branding meeting in a rented office space somewhere in upstate New York, they would have made Müller Corner. Mmmm, Müller.
Crack that corner, pour in the chocolate biscuit balls slash strawberry jam slash whatever it is and just indulge. Whenever I saw this potted piece of heaven in my lunchbox I hit the roof.
2. The Dictionary Corner
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown, a merge between television classic Countdown and British talk-show 8 Out Of 10 Cats, has got to be the funniest TV show to exist. Not only has it brought out my inner geek (how did I manage to make 493 in under 30 seconds using six random numbers?!) but every episode has always managed to get me crying with laughter.
Despite all this, it’s got to be Susie Dent, Oxford and Princeton graduate, that is the epitome of genius – girl or otherwise. I don’t know how she can find nine letter words from nine random letters in that chunky Oxford Dictionary of hers, but okay.
3. The Corner Store
Granted, my Freddos have gone up a good 10p since this time last year but I’m sure Raj is doing his best. Plus, when that flow of fresh skimmed dairy milk runs dry, where am I going to run to? I need my cuppas!
4. Alizé Cornet
Serena Williams, eg the tennis champion currently at no.1 in women’s singles (as of 13th Feb, 2013) is a mighty girl-force to be reckoned with. She may seem unconquerable – and the place in my heart for her defiantly is. However, when French tennis player Alizé Cornet (say: koh-ney) beats the African-American champ at her own game, you gotta hand it to her.
5. Anna Kournikova
Another tennis sensation over here! Kournikova (say: kor-neey-ko-vah), a Russian tennis player turned supermodel, earned no.8 on the top tennis players in 2000. Plus she’s mega hottie. Swoon.
6: “Corner (corner corner corner corner) Chameleon”
Apparantly the real title is “karma chameleon” but my version makes more sense in relation to the lyrics than karma. It does. It does!
Bonus points to Boy George, bringing his gender fluidity into the game with that bomb eye shadow look. Teach me your ways, oh master.